My Year of No Shopping. November 2023.

The Black Friday sales were hard. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Temps dropped below freezing in early November. Turns out that even a few minutes outside in freezing temps with sweat-drenched yoga clothes may be a recipe for pneumonia. So, I bought a full-length puffer coat for yoga mornings. Could I have chosen to change at the studio? Sure coulda. But there’s one bathroom, friends, and mama needs to hightail it back home to usher a certain 2nd grader to school on time. I’ve never owned a full-length puffer. What took me so long? This’ll upgrade my dog walking frequency in the cold winter months. I do not regret this purchase.

I dove into daydreams of wardrobe updates. And instead of searching websites to tell me what I want, I started to think about the wardrobe that I already KNEW I wanted. And I was reminded of HBO’s “Divorce” starring Sarah Jessica Parker. “Divorce” wasn’t a great show. But I watched it anyway. At first, I watched it for SJP, and after the pilot, I continued to watch it expressly for her character’s wardrobe. I ached for that wardrobe, Mid-calf length full-skirted (often button-down and collared) dresses that were tailored to perfection. I had set my pining aside years ago watching that show because surely all those dresses were out of my price range. But in my November daydreams, I remembered the show, searched for answers to sources of wardrobe pieces, and found this blog. Turns out, all the dresses were vintage and then hemmed to fit SJP perfectly. I CAN DO THAT. I’ve BEEN doing that all year. My elation knew no bounds. It reinforced the pattern I set in place: buy used and take items to my seamstress.

After this wildly exciting discovery, I got sick. A viral infection headed into my lungs and ignited my asthma in a way I hadn’t experienced in years. Guys. I was a sick kid. And young adult, for that matter! I used to need to refill two inhalers every 30 days or else. I never left home without an inhaler. These days, I may go a year before needing a refill. It’s wild and amazing.

But once an asthmatic, always an asthmatic.

WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH NO SHOPPING, MAURA? I hear you. Stay with me.

I remained adamant for days that a good night of sleep would solve my illness woes. But then, one night, I coughed until 3 in the morning then managed to sleep for two hours, by propping myself up on the couch. That’s when I threw in the towel and called the doc. When I got the appointment scheduled, I hung up the phone and started weeping. I was so relieved. I needed help. Hard-core medicinal help. It’s exhausting to cough continuously. It’s exhausting to take care of yourself and take care of a child, too. I cried out of self-pity and I remained aware of my privileges - health insurance, a warm home, money to pay for medicine. I could go on and on. So, yeah, I cried out of relief, but then my tears turned existential and I cried for all the moms out there. I cried for single moms and moms in wartorn lands; I cried for moms who gave birth in hospitals without electricity, and I cried for moms who’ve lost their children to gun violence. I just really went down the rabbit hole. But also: the world is dark and perhaps existential grief is just part of paying attention these days.

Then I went to Target for cough drops.

And I found myself hunting for a lazy susan for our kitchen. I know. I told myself I deserved it. I was sick. I had already seen it online. The matte black matched my kitchen hardware. I ‘needed’ a place to wrangle all the items that stayed on the kitchen island.

But it wasn’t in the store. I took this as the Universe saying, “No girl. A lazy susan is not going to make struggling to breathe any better. Only strong heavy meds will relieve your suffering.”

A few days later, after the meds allowed me to inhale deeply without curling over into a fit of coughs, I noticed that I had enough Target points to get the lazy susan without using money. And so I got it anyway, Universe! There’s no lesson here! I found a workaround and I took it.

From there, the month got harder. Like I said earlier, Black Friday is not for the faint of heart. And it’s no longer a “Friday’, friends. It’s about ten days long. I got an early Saturday morning urge to buy lots of clothes from a particular store. Then my daughter joined me on the couch to snuggle, saw the items in the cart, and said that I already had clothes like that. Then I remembered that I hadn’t tried these items on and hadn’t I just made a promise to myself only a month earlier to try clothes on before purchasing??

I abandoned my cart.

But I did purchase a few things. Mostly they were upgrades. My electric kettle broke after eight years. There is not a device I use more regularly; nothing soothes me quite like a sip of hot water does. I got a new straightener because mine only works about 25% of the time. My favorite earring - the one for which I pierced an extra hole in my ear - I lost it down inside a vent early this year. And so when it went on sale, I replaced it. Because I love it. Because it is the only earring that should ever be worn.

The tartan dog bone stocking and the velvet green dog bow were probably unnecessary but the deed is done, friends, and the pictures will be album-worthy.

I bought the handmade wooden floating nightstand. I would have bought it on January 1, 2024, but I bought it in November because it was on sale.

And then there were the violas. My daughter and I have been taking lessons together since June. We rented the instruments up until November. Now that I had more certainty that this hobby would stick, it made more financial sense to buy instead of rent-to-own.

It’s nice to see that the purchases this year went mainly to two new-yet-old hobbies - yoga and strong instruments. I became certified in yoga some twenty years ago and have returned to the mat. I played the cello for years when I was younger and now I am learning one of the smaller string instruments.

But yes, this year is sprinkled with silly purchases, too. I have one month to go, and I don’t think this is a failed experiment, but it is also one that I needn’t repeat. I’m forgetting what point I’m trying to make with myself. I am concerned that after so much abstaining, I may purchase with wild abandon come 2024. I hope not, but I could see it playing out that way. I love a good challenge but this one needs to be done. I know I’ll never be a maximalist, but I also know that I needn’t be so restrictive.

My daughter and I are learning a Jingle Bells duet right now. It’s so simple yet it’s so beautiful. Those violas are worth every penny. I didn’t shop to get them. But now I practice scales instead of scroll. Take that, Black Friday.